Humor

Statutory?

I stumbled across this series of pics on www.XDTalk.com and it made me giggle.

Why?

'Cause I'm still juvenile like that.

"That's the saddest thing I've ever heard!"

I wrote up this story today for a guy who was just put on new meds and has to give up alcohol. I realized that I've written up a blog entry for my humiliating Ireland moment, but haven't written up my funniest Ireland moment.

Here it is:



I don't drink alcohol and haven't since I was sixteen (well over twice that now). My friends all drink socially and it's never been a problem for me. In fact, in college it was actually a boon. The main reason I had friends was 'cause I didn't drink.

A Great Meal At Guanajuato... Or Pugs Is A Dumb-Ass!

Today my wife, Beth, graduated from Grad School with a Master of Science in Student Personnel Administration. That may become a seperate blog entry (Hank Aaron received an honorary degree and was a speaker at the ceremony!). This blog entry is all about me! Why, 'cause I'm selfish that way! Or, mebbe I'm just stupid that way.

Anyhow. Last night, we went out with friends for a drink at Sugar Maple, a fantastic smoke-free bar in Bay View. Not only were we going out to celebrate Beth's imminent graduation, but we were also celebrating the Supreme Court of California's ruling that the ban on gay marriages violated the state's constitution as well as the fact that Ruth and Kathy are celebrating their thirteenth anniversary this Monday. Lot's to celebrate and good friends to celebrate with!

A Trip To The Dentist

Why is this interesting? I don't know. Maybe it isn't. I was amused, though, and this is my blog, so I get to do what I want with it; that includes amusing myself.

Or perhaps I find it interesting because I've never had a bad experience with a dental exam, cleaning, or surgery, and yet I still manage to get all jittery (anxious, Beth says) and discomfitted with the idea of being vulnerable. I'm not sure why I feel vulnerable, either. Perhaps it's being laid out in the chair while people poke and prod in my mouth. Perhaps it's not knowing what they're going to diagnose.

Why Do Drunk Girls Want To Make Out With You After They Puke?

Recently, I had to borrow a buddy's truck to drive a drunk friend of mine home. This is the e-mail that I sent to another buddy who was out with us that evening.

The drunk girl in question is a friend which is why her name is not mentioned. Embarrassing her is not my intent; it's a funny story that's funnier in the telling than it was in real life.



So,

I actually managed to get the exit out of her before she passed out. So I get off of the exit, pull into a gas station, and try to wake her up. Even when I get her to open her eyes for a moment, she just says "go shhtraight." Over and over again. I call Beth and have her MapQuest and Google Map the address. Google Maps strike out, but MapQuest scores! Woo-hoo! The end is in sight! I put Beth on speakerphone and start following her directions. I field a call from you somewhere in there; something about pulling out nose hairs.

I'm Such A Knob

On the elevator this morning, a guy wearing a really nice suit lookin' all spiffy got on with me, but didn't hit a button after I hit '6'. So I figgered he was going to Cornerstone for an interview or something. He then smiled at me and said, "how're you doin'?" and it was that kind of smile like, "hey I know you and I'm all dressed up and feelin' good about myself." So I figgered that he must be a Cornerstone person that I know.

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